One fine morning in New York City...

"Ah, what a beautiful day.
The sun is shining, the birds are singing...
... And I'm feeling dippish.
Charles, bring the car around!"

"What's up, buddy? You seem tense."
"Of course I'm tense! It's Valentine's Day and my girlfriend's out of town!"
"Oh, come on, let me cheer you up.
What did the hummus receive when it graduated from high school?"
"I'm afraid to ask, but what?"
"A dip-loma!!"

"Please don't do that again."
"Hang on, it's the door. Hello?"
"It's me."
"Just in time, come on up!"

"'A dip-loma.' Oh, that's so bad...."